So here's some more randomness. Should have posted this last night but I try to keep away from the computer after 10pm to avoid insomnia going worse. So, I had a birthday. Not a big deal. Didn't even get a kiss or hug from the hubby. He's been quite distant since his birthday. He was just basically being an ass. Seemed like he had a stressful day at work and didn't give a crap about anything. I tried not to bug him then, but I did get a little hurt. I hate being the center of attention in a group but of course it would be nice to get some appreciation from the man I share my life with. Some pampering. Nah, why change anything when it has worked so well this far. I can honestly remember only 5 times that my birthday has been celebrated, in my whole lifetime. Call it the curse of the middle kid or what ever. This year my parents didn't even call. I'm a tad bit surprised, but also relieved. I've been dodging their calls for months anyway. They always call drunk... Last time I had a cake and presents was when I turned 18 and my then-boyfriend made me a cake, gave me a book and was very very adorable.
Yesterday, I had planned I'd go to the town and have lunch in my favorite chinese place. I rarely eat out and have developed this habbit of indulging myself by having my favorite food there. Sometimes it's just nice to eat food I didn't have to cook myself. So since nobody else pampers me, I have to do it myself. How pathetic am I...? I didn't get to go to the lunch because I didn't have a ride and/or babysitter. So I made a plan B: movie at 8pm while J puts the kids to bed. Alone, watching a romantic musical on my birthday. Seriously, how pathetic? Very, since I didn't get to do that either. Since J didn't seem to remember/signify my birthday at all, I didn't bother either. I don't like making a fuzz out of myself, not out in the real world anyway. It's whole another ballgame when I'm writing, blog for instance...
Sorry to make another whiney bluey post. Crap, I was just supposed to write something light and try to be funny about it. I gues Polly has messed up my hormones very good now. Basically my birthday was just like any other day: I cleaned, did laundry, watched the kids and kept asking "where did your clothes go again?" Actually, there was a little exception. When my youngest woke up, he cried for an hour straight. until the painmed started to work. He had a mild fever and seemed to be in pain. I figured he's getting another ear infection. All the familliar symptoms. Today he's fine again, but yesterday everything was chaotic. Oh well, it's always chaotic with these boys...
Insomnia + chaos bros + too much coffee = I got some belly issues after dinner. Lovely... That was when hubby said his first whole sentence all day: "Aren't you going shopping?" -"Yes, dear. Don't mind me shivering here with cold flashes running thru my body thanks to this chourning sound that comes from my belly. This happens every other day anyway..." (I didn't really say it, just cursed like a true northern witch in my head) Since there was no spoiling of me at all (like there ever would be. ugh, stop whining..), I bought me some more yummy veggie food and a small caramel-covered cake from the frozen section. It's a good cake. Not the choco-cake I was looking for but I never get what I want anyway.
So my birthday was very much the same my life always is. Average.
Now I seem more upset about this than I am. I really am not. I'm used to my needs being ignored. But I'm really upset about the fact that yesterday I realized hubby has gone so distant again. He had these sweet habbits of kissing me every morning before leaving for work and hugging and kissing me as much I kiss and hug him. I don't even remember when he last gave me a morning kiss. Must be sometime november. Kisses and hugs... less since new year? Bollocks. We're gonna have to have another long excruciating talk...
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