Friday, February 12, 2010

Crazy dreams part 2084 or so - and something about weightloss

I woke up tired again so I took a nap after R left for school. I had the weirdest dream. In the dream I was at some stadium with a group of atlete young people and I was one of them (lol!), ready take on some big competition; and then it went black. I was asleep, or more like unconcious. I tried to wake up but couldn't, felt like some one was pressing me under. I tried and tried, and finally I got thru for a while and I saw that I was in a small hospital room in hospital clothes. Then I was pushed under again. Then after a while I got awake (in the dream) and someone was showing me video about me and five other people put in the same bathtub drugged and how one by one we fell asleep. Then I felt that Fright or Flight-reaction and I guess it was the que for my head to get out of the dream.

I woke up for real in my own living room. Must have been one of them movie dreams. Crazy real! I woke up my heart bouncing and my body felt numb. I had slept two hours. Everytime I tried to awake in the dream, I'd see or hear a flash of the dream-world or my own real livingroom. It was weird, the reality and the dream layered up, tangled together. I could hear the boys waking and playing nicely and knew I should wake up but I was pulled back under. What a weird, stressful dream. Must have messed with my brain chemistry because I really felt like I was drugged. It took everything in me to get myself up from that sofa.

Having to sleep like that and the boys playin alone... Hello, bad mother-syndrome... Nothing bad happened and they didn't even make a mess, but still. I had no appetite then, until at noon. I had a healthy breakfast of green tea and chocolate muffin. Then a small bowl of sourcream and onion chips. You know, breakfast bowl-size. I figure it takes about 100g at the most, which is about 350calories which equals the size of a meal. I always try to eat the maximum of that size. There's a little random weightloss tip for you. The smaller bowl you get for chips, the less you actually end up eating them. I never feel like seconds, and if I do it's a sign I need to eat some sliced paprikas instead. They're yummy and take away the urge to eat sweets with just a few bites.

Now it's 2pm and I just had three small chicken legs spiced in Shanghai style. Yeah, I actually ate meat. I've been eating a lot of fish lately. Feeling a little low on the proteins. Needed to try if those tiny chicken legs are still edable for me. Yay! Had some french fries too. I was stupid and went and bought them. My unhealthy addiction to crispy french fries must be why I gained the new three extra kilos. I ate loads of them in january... I have a feeling I might pig out a little this weekend. Fridays are the worst days for weight looser. Friday is like the official "eat what you want and just as much as you want"-day. Something in the head just screams that. Or maybe it's just me and the fact that as a kid we always got to eat lots yummies in the weekends when we were at dad's.

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